You tell me:
— Shamus Toomey (@stoomey) June 7, 2017
Moving the bullpens under the bleachers was a no brainer. It was a matter of time before someone got seriously injured – most notably Kyle Schwarber – now that the team is worth a shit. And I’m ALLLL about minimizing injury risk to the core players. Again, total no brainer. And on the bright side for relievers, there’s no more sitting around amongst the peasant fans, baking in the sun and being ruthlessly subjected to line drives, bad jokes and requests for balls from middle aged men. Now they get to enjoy the exclusivity of their own climate controlled, sound proof, state-of-the-art bullpen facility. And with that comes the apparent privacy to enjoy certain major-league-caliber splendors like all you can drink domestic tall boys and premium cocaine because for the life of me I have no fucking clue what’s going on with the dancing. No way that’s a product of sobriety. And if it is, I want to know which of my guys initiated this because he needs to get stuffed in a locker PRONTO. This is JV summer ball stuff IMHO.
At the same time, maybe I need to be open minded and enjoy the fact that these guys are having a party in the bleachers just like everyone else. Almost like they can’t even help themselves. And obviously I’m joking about the alcohol and schedule II narcotics. Totally joking. I’m sure it’s just pure adrenaline, and I can DEFINITELY get behind that.
So it’s a toss up right now. At the end of the day, I’m sure my opinion will boil down to blown saves slathered in recency bias so, really, who cares?